Isn’t this a weird thing to be even writing about?
Dating right now has got to be the most confusing thing in the world. With these so called “things” and “talking to someone” and “oh we’re just hanging out”, is anyone really even dating anymore?
It’s almost as exhausting as sitting through your hour and 15 minute class scrolling through Instagram the entire time.
Despite having it happen to me several times, I have definitely done it to guys as well and I’m sure we all have. So, oops.
This is what happens when you have the “talk” or try to “define the relationship” when there isn’t really a relationship to define. Which just to throw it out there is weird. Why do we do this? It is like taking a huge wrecking ball to a building that hasn’t even been built yet.
There is a specific time where this happened to me and putting it in to retrospect I am dumbfounded.
This guy was in the same city I was for the summer so we decided to hangout. Full disclosure here, we’ve had some pretty intense conversations and I knew we were into each other.
A guy who can communicate genuine feelings… WOW what a concept.
I got to his cute little home and we started to watch a movie. Please judge me because looking back I was digging my own grave. Also, girls we can all do better than a “movie-at-his-apartment” date which I know we’ve all been on a hundred times.
Things were pretty PG to begin with just your average cuddling and making out. But literally maybe 30 minutes into this so called “date”, he ruins it.
“Listen, I just need you to know this before things go any further.”
(First, if he just assumed things were going to go further, I will have his head.)
“I value your friendship and I wouldn’t want to mess anything up. I just want you to know I’m not really looking to date anyone right now and I don’t want to lead you on.”
Um OK. Lets take a step back. I am about to be a senior, our college towns are 9 hours away, and I’m only going to be around him for the next month. Why would I be looking for anything other than a friendly make out/hang out occasionally?
Also, why wouldn’t you want to date me?
And thanks for ruining my little fantasy of late night summer swims and having a hot guy to make out with.
ALSO, why do all guys think you want to date them? Guys who do this (& girls tbh) automatically believe that you 100% want to date them and they have a need to shut things off before they feel that way too.
Which honestly just makes me laugh because lesssbehonest most of the time boys we aren’t looking to date you either.
Regardless of the circumstances, it was flat out annoying that he ended things before they even began. And this is my point. Too many people try to define things when there isn’t anything to define. It’s like men have a huge wrecking ball in their hands at all times just in case they’ve hung out with the same girl 3 times in a row.
I’ve learned that this excuse, like any excuse really, means that guy is someone you don’t want to be with. Any excuse they give you is just a reason to reassure you that you didn’t want to date them anyways. Trust me, you deserve better.