Cracking the Shy Guys Shell One Date Night at a Time

Last night I was hanging out with one of my best girlfriends and we came up on the subject of our semi formal.

Okay that was a lie, we were talking about it forever and we’ve been texting all day on who she wants to take. You know, life decisions.

We’re driving around, and I mention the guy who she’s been snap chatting the past two weeks (he called her “babe” the other week so things are serious. He was a little intoxicated, but we don’t mention that).

I bring him up and she immediately freaks out and jumps off a cliff to conclusions,

“Oh my god Caroline what if he says no? I would never EVER ask a guy that I don’t know that well that is SO embarrassing. He probably already has a date night that night..”

She goes on for another 10 minutes.

Right as I catch her when she’s taking a breath I say, “Look you’re never going to know these things unless you put yourself out there!”

More like scream than say, but she probably had a whole speech prepared about not wanting to take him.

Also, to be frank with you, this really does not matter in the long run.

In three years are you going to remember Mark from Sigma Apple Epsilon who threw up on you and then asked for your friend’s number at the end of your formal night?

Okay well, you probably will remember that, but the point is as much fun as date nights are they aren’t the most memorable for a few reasons- ha ha. The dates are truly just an added bonus to a fun night out with your girls.

Guys are extremely simple for the most part. If they like you, they will respond. If they don’t like you, they won’t (or they will make up something they have to do instead of the date night like clean their new Nikes).

Easy as pie.

About an hour and a couple of therapy talks I honestly should have charged her later, for she decides she will say to him, “Hey random what are you doing next Thursday?”

If you haven’t done the “oh-my-gosh-I-completely-forgot-it-was-my-function-lol” text to invite a guy, you’re lying.

Ladies, we need to be more like guys when it comes to the first move. You see a guy at a bar strike out and four seconds later he’s on to the next one.

And you’ll be happy to know that my girlfriend is now going to formal with the “guy she’s been snap chatting” and they are going to have a great ass time.

That she probably won’t remember in three years.

P. S.  If you have a funny mem or want me to write about something specific – please comment or DM me on Instagram & I would be happy to!

Did I just get broken up with even when we weren’t dating?

Isn’t this a weird thing to be even writing about? 

Dating right now has got to be the most confusing thing in the world. With these so called “things” and “talking to someone” and “oh we’re just hanging out”, is anyone really even dating anymore?

It’s almost as exhausting as sitting through your hour and 15 minute class scrolling through Instagram the entire time.

Despite having it happen to me several times, I have definitely done it to guys as well and I’m sure we all have. So, oops.

This is what happens when you have the “talk” or try to “define the relationship” when there isn’t really a relationship to define. Which just to throw it out there is weird. Why do we do this? It is like taking a huge wrecking ball to a building that hasn’t even been built yet.

There is a specific time where this happened to me and putting it in to retrospect I am dumbfounded.

This guy was in the same city I was for the summer so we decided to hangout. Full disclosure here, we’ve had some pretty intense conversations and I knew we were into each other.

A guy who can communicate genuine feelings… WOW what a concept.

I got to his cute little home and we started to watch a movie. Please judge me because looking back I was digging my own grave. Also, girls we can all do better than a “movie-at-his-apartment” date which I know we’ve all been on a hundred times.

Things were pretty PG to begin with just your average cuddling and making out. But literally maybe 30 minutes into this so called “date”, he ruins it.

“Listen, I just need you to know this before things go any further.”

(First, if he just assumed things were going to go further, I will have his head.)

“I value your friendship and I wouldn’t want to mess anything up. I just want you to know I’m not really looking to date anyone right now and I don’t want to lead you on.”

Um OK. Lets take a step back. I am about to be a senior, our college towns are 9 hours away, and I’m only going to be around him for the next month. Why would I be looking for anything other than a friendly make out/hang out occasionally?

Also, why wouldn’t you want to date me?

And thanks for ruining my little fantasy of late night summer swims and having a hot guy to make out with.

ALSO, why do all guys think you want to date them? Guys who do this (& girls tbh) automatically believe that you 100% want to date them and they have a need to shut things off before they feel that way too.

Which honestly just makes me laugh because lesssbehonest most of the time boys we aren’t looking to date you either.

Regardless of the circumstances, it was flat out annoying that he ended things before they even began. And this is my point. Too many people try to define things when there isn’t anything to define. It’s like men have a huge wrecking ball in their hands at all times just in case they’ve hung out with the same girl 3 times in a row.

I’ve learned that this excuse, like any excuse really, means that guy is someone you don’t want to be with. Any excuse they give you is just a reason to reassure you that you didn’t want to date them anyways. Trust me, you deserve better.