The Voices In Our Head That Tell Us We’re Not Skinny Enough

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Ole Miss Junior Alexis Smith

Some mornings I look in the mirror and the first thing that comes to mind is: oh my God, I don’t even have kids yet.

What follows is always different: sometimes it’s directed toward my cellulite, other times at my love handles, occasionally at the stress pimple on my cheek. It’s always some sentiment of self-hate: maybe I could be skinnier, tanner, a little less me and a little more cool girl.


You know what’s shitty? My experiences in front of the mirror aren’t special or unique.

I know this because I hear comments in dressing rooms, like ‘ugh, I hate my arms’ or ‘I am so FAT’ or ‘screw it, I’m not even going to formal anymore!’ On some occasions I’ve heard sniffles and sobs from girls who look in the mirror and see something truly ugly and awful.

Amy Poehler calls these our demons. For many of us, our demons yell the loudest when we are bathing suit shopping or Jennifer Aniston’s hot 50-year old bod is staring at us on the magazine stand in Wal-Mart.


They are with us when we can’t stop tugging out our dresses; when we compulsively look across the room, comparing; when we withhold the like on the Instagram of the pretty girl wearing a bikini.

The thing is: we aren’t ever going to get rid of our demons completely. There will always be voices  tell us we aren’t strong or beautiful enough. But I’m convinced that through good friendship, good pizza, and good self-love, we can learn to let our demons leave a message and get back with them later.

We’ll hush our demons when we learn this one truth:

You don’t have to be pretty like her. You can be pretty like you.

We must continue on, demons and all, meditating on the things we love about ourselves while wearing the clothes that make us feel sexy.

We must we celebrate ourselves. We must remember the women that have fought for our rights and still champion the issues of education, healthcare, and gender equity. The next time we hear a girl crying in the dressing room over, we must take the time to stop and remind her  just how great we think she is.

The world tears us down so much, and it’s time, size 2 or size 20, we lift each other up.

xoxo, Alexis
You can find Alexis on Instagram and Twitter.

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